Reach Out
by Lady of the Phoenix
Summary: Sometimes a troll ends up in a quadrant with another that isn't quite the right fit. And sometimes that realization has to be foisted upon them. By fate, by chance, or by design, Karkat's starting to realize somethings about his moiralligence with Gamzee.


Author's Notes: This is a prize for evillovebunny500, who got 2nd place in the deviantart GamKat holiday contest. After we negotiated a bit I came to an agreement with Evil as to what kind of prize they would get, which is based around flushed Gamkar and movie nights. This story takes place in a non-Sgrub world.

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**Reach Out**

Movie day became a thing about a month into their confirmed moirallegience. How that happened was another story for a time that Karkat didn't even want to think about talking about because it was stupid, foolish, and pointless. Who even gave a damn about how it happened, all that mattered was that it was. That when Gamzee needed a good papping to calm his fucking juggalo ass down, Karkat was there for him. And when Karkat was worried that the world was going to discover what he was, Gamzee was there to shoosh him, holding him close, running his long fingers through Karkat's hair, and promising never to let anything hurt him. Not that Gamzee knew of his mutant blood problems, because that was something even the palest of moirails could not share with each other.

Still, movie day was a thing that happened every time Karkat dragged himself across the traitorous surface of Alternia—under his lusus's annoyingly watchful eyes of course—for his perigee-ly three day visit with his moirail. After all, how was he supposed to fulfill his duties properly if he didn't see his addlepanned moirail? Anyway, movie day was a thing that happened. The first day of their time together they spent on a movie or two of Karkat's choice, usually romcoms of one degree of another. They allowed him to relax, to wind down after the trip. The second day was for Gamzee's choices—usually something whimsical but not going into the harshwhimsy—the kinds of things that were silly and cheerful and while Karkat spent a lot of time shouting and cursing the movies, that didn't mean he didn't enjoy them. Mocking them was just a thing he was meant to do.

The third day... Well it was the third day that was making things difficult lately. Usually it was them working together to select a movie or two. Sometimes the choices were an interesting combination of their tastes, like Troll Disney princess movies because they did romance as well as the frivolous. But more and more Karkat had been coming to notice something about the movies they were picking out. For one thing, Gamzee had way more romcoms in his hive these last several perigees. When Karkat had questioned him at first Gamzee had just laughed and assured him that he wanted to make it bitchtits easier for his moirail to up and get his romcom on without having to up and hack his cards. And at first Karkat had believed him. But when Gamzee started to offer them up as third day options again and again—and Karkat had never rejected the chance to watch a new romcom or even an old one—Karkat had come to notice something. A recurring fucking theme that he could barely believe.

In all of the romcoms there was heavy focus on a moirail whose feelings were a bit redder than they should have been. Trolls who became moirails because they could never be matesprits for all that they pitied their moirails so deeply. Trolls who gave up the ones they saw as matesprits because they wanted them to be happy. Usually it was downplayed in the movies. A subtle hint here, a clue there that someone might not notice if they were not as well versed in all of the tropes and artistic edges of romcoms.

The problem was that Karkat, over these last few perigees, had become hyper conscious of this theme, and he had not fucking clue if Gamzee even noticed. If he had been any other troll Karkat would have had suspicions. For instance, he wouldn't put it past someone like Nepeta or Terezi to sneak that kind of thing in to try and woo him, but Gamzee... well he was just an oblivious clown, right? Or so Karkat had always thought before this. How could he be sure? Was he supposed to just go up to his moirail and ask about this sort of thing? If he was taking this wrong and went to Gamzee about it, just how would it affect their moiralligence? Would Gamzee break if off because he thought Karkat was having more flushed leanings?

What was a troll supposed to do in this situation when he couldn't even turn to his moirail for help?

"So how about this one, my motherfucking wicked brother?" Gamzee asked, coming up out of a pile of movie cases to hold up his suggestion for their third day movie.

"Well are you going to tell me what it is or do you expect me to haul my fucking ass off of this pillow pile to look at your suggestion?" Karkat demanded. He liked the pillow pile. It had taken him three perigees to get Gamzee to change from horns to pillows for his comfort.

"Aw I can all up and do that for my best motherfucking friend," Gamzee all but purred, before slowly untangling himself from the mess of arms and legs he tended to get himself worked into whenever he wasn't fully standing. All Karkat could do was watch, half appreciating all the ways that his moirail's body seemed to flow despite the chaotic edge to it, half cursing himself internally for watching the movements of his moirail so closely. It was wrong of him to look at Gamzee's body like that. He was the clown's moirail, not matesprit. He shouldn't be sitting here on the pile, staring at how smoothly his long legs moved, how the corners of his elbows and knees that should have been sharp looked instead like the curves of Gamzee's horns. Even how the shapes of the horns looked so...

"Fuck," he hissed under his breath, trying to force that line of thought out of his pan.

"Here ya go. Wicked movie with a title that goes all the way down the cover. Watched it about half a perigee back. Got all kinds of complex like you enjoy, my brother. Why don't you scope out the title?"

Gamzee held out the case, and when Karkat reached for it their fingers brushed against each others. There was a chill that went up his spine, and Karkat wasn't quite sure whether or not that chill was entirely because Gamzee's skin was always so cold against his own. What would it feel like to have those fingers going through something other than his hair? What if instead they... NO. That was totally NOT an acceptable route for his pan. Instead Karkat tore his eyes away from Gamzee and to the cover of the movie case. Yet no matter how hard he stared at the cover, his eyes refused to focus on the title. Refused to break it down and figure out what it was about. So instead he just smiled, nodded, passed the case over the Gamzee and sat back as he watched his moirail bend over to slide the disc into his player.

"You're all up and going to love the movie, my brother."

"Yeah, I'm fucking sure of it."

It took a moment for Gamzee to get things going, and all the time his eyes were glued to Gamzee. To the way that his back bent so smoothly under his shirt. Karkat had to wonder just what it was like under that shirt. Was his back smooth and well muscled? Or was it more like Karkat's own, with each vertebra pronounced under the skin? Could he find an excuse during their next feelings jam to run his fingers down Gamzee's back in a soothing way to try and find out? Or was that a kind of touch that a moirail shouldn't do?

"This is going to be motherfucking miracles kind of good," Gamzee said as he rejoined Karkat in their pile. More than just rejoined, really. More of resumed his previous spot, which was lounging on the mound of pillows, wrapping an arm around Karkat's shoulders, and then pulling his moirail down so that his head was nestled in Gamzee's lap. Then, even before he reached for the controller to start the movie, Gamzee's free hand was letting its fingers twist and tangle through Karkat's hair. And for a moment, Karkat wasn't sure whether he should purr in contentment as a moirail would, or get antsy and nervous that Gamzee might start stroking the sensitive bases of his nubby horns, like a matesprit would. He was worried that the latter was the one that was winning out too.

All he could do was try not to bite down on his lip too hard as he lay there, watching the movie Gamzee had selected. Just be still and pretend he didn't notice how close Gamzee's fingers came to touching his horns as his moirail played with his hair. Pretend that he wasn't reveling in the rhythmic pulse of Gamzee's pusher beating just above his head. Act as if he didn't notice halfway through the movie that this too had the subtle theme of a moirail that was a touch darker than pale.

Pretending was something Karkat had never been good at. He'd tried it as a wiggler, back when his lusus was more prone to playing with him rather than skreeing warnings at him. Back then he'd pretended that he was a great warrior and would one day gain the approval of the Empress. Even back then he'd been terrible at pretending things. Now he was even worse, and Gamzee wasn't doing a damn thing to help.

It happened when, in the movie, the moirail finally spoke up. Finally pulled their palemate aside after they had gotten into a fight with their flushcrush, and slammed their lips together. Happened as the kiss moved past that first moment when it could be broken off with no shame or fear of judgment, and moved into the territory of shared. Karkat was watching, his attention riveted to the screen, his pusher going out to the poor troll who had found himself in so untenable a position as to be moirail to someone he was so clearly flushed for. Except his attention was gone because Gamzee's fingers had stopped moving in his hair. Sometimes they did that, when movies got to a part where Gamzee was highly focused. What was it in this scene that made him so intent then? Was it that the obviously proper red couple was finally getting together? Or was it because it was a moirail stepping outside of the proper bounds and making a red play for their quadmate?

Would he hold it against Karkat right now if Karkat were to reach up, pull him down, and kiss him soundly? Would he rejoice? Did Karkat even want to do such a thing?

Yes. The answer was clearly, definitively, abashedly yes. If he didn't, then why would he even think about it? The ideas could only be planted by the movies if there was somewhere fertile in his pan for them to grow. As much as Karkat hated to admit it, it was the plain truth. He was paying attention to how Gamzee touched him because he wanted Gamzee to touch him. He was attentive to Gamzee's fingers in his hair because he wanted them to accidentally brush against his horns. He thought about the way Gamzee moved, his body, the chill of his skin because he wanted to possess it all.

Right now?

Right now his lips were cold from the press of Gamzee's against them. Cold but he didn't mind, didn't give a single fuck because those lips were moving against his own, not just accepting the kiss, but kissing him back. The fingers that were still in his hair were in motion again, gripping Karkat's hair tightly. It wasn't until his aeration sacs were straining in pain that Karkat finally untangled his own fingers from Gamzee's hair and pushed him away. Thankfully, sadly, Gamzee pulled back without a moment of resistance. He didn't strain to stay there, force the kiss to be longer. Yet when Karkat looked up at him, stared up into the face that was both familiar and strange all at once, he saw all he needed to see. A smile that seemed to reach far past the limits set out for it by Gamzee's paint.

"About time you all up and got your wise on," Gamzee's voice rasped out, slow and soothing and so happy sounding. "Took you long enough, my motherfucking mate."

"I'm sorry," Karkat found himself whispering back. "Give me time. I'll make it up to you."


End file.
